I cried out into the silent room. I could not hear anything; not even an echo. I sat quietly aching for answers. What once was a mind filled with visions and words of wisdom had become empty as the boxes on Christmas morning. The harder I tried to mediate, the more disconnected I became. I trudged through the hallways where I once roamed freely in surrender and in gratitude - feeling them closing in - seeing the true color on the walls as a stagnant gray as opposed to a vibrant color. The negative phone calls and the triggering conversations that I had once conquered through grace and empathy, lit a fire in me that ignited with rage and frustration. The terms manifestation, law of attraction, shadow work, and balance began to fiercely irk me as if they were mocking me for the years that I had spent mastering them just to reach - nothingness.

I had learned all about the dark night of the soul. I knew enough about it through my studies and my own experiences that I was dealing with something much different. Yet, no information was within reach. My guides were no longer within reach. Nothing resonated anymore. There was just me, the silence, and the nothingness. I did not know at the time that that I was experiencing a profound part of the spiritual journey. One that not many had entered and those that did had no resources to overcome it nor wherewithal enough to share. If you were brought here....welcome to the void.

The void was not intended as a punishment. The void was a preparation; a fierce initiation that made the fork in the road between my old life and my new life seem like a choice between life and death. Only, it was a choice between desire and purpose. The dark night of the soul is the battle between the ego and the soul. The void is the war.